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This man worked as a fiction editor in the world of publishing and now suddenly he's an expert on kidnapping, breaking and entering, and stalking. They've carried over a lackluster villain from the second film, Ana's unfortunately named old boss Jack Hyde who tried to sexually assault her. Does anybody want to check in with Cinderella and Prince Charming arguing over who has to do the dishes (trick question: it's the servants)?Ĭonflicts are once again introduced and hastily taken care of, much like the laugh-out-loud helicopter crash from that last film that was resolved in the very next scene. With Fifty Shades Freed, we start off with them getting married and their frolicking honeymoon, and the movie seems to exist in that post-"happily ever after" phase of romances that we rarely see because nobody wants to know what happens after the couple gets their Big Closing Kiss.

He learned to settle down, open up about his past behavior, and start the process of compromise. The problem is that the last film mostly completed the journey of Christian Grey from bad boyfriend material to slightly less bad marriage material, as he got down on one knee and proposed to Ana. There just isn't a credible story here, which may be why this is the first Fifty Shades to clock in short of two hours (and it has a montage that cycles through highlights of the trilogy). The characters introduced in the last film don't really matter. That last item also serves as another blaring waning sign about the scary control freak that is this franchise's supposed brooding, Byronic hero, but we'll get more into that later. If you thought the previous film was struggling to stretch enough story to fill a feature-length runtime, then just wait until you watch the new movie where we have such scintillating plotlines like whether Christian's brother might be cheating on his girlfriend or Christian being mad because Ana hasn't changed her work email to her new married name. It's hilariously bad and incompetent, whereas Fifty Shades Freed is slightly better simply because there's less of everything, which also includes less of a reason to exist. It's hard to say which in this trilogy is the worst film but I still venture that the second, Fifty Shades Darker, is the winner in that regard. Meanwhile, the happy couple is challenged by two foes: a vengeful Jack Hyde (Eric Johnson) and the prospect of children. She finds ways to assert her independence and defiance. While honeymooning in France, Christian still can't help his domineering ways and instructs Ana not to sunbathe topless. If you're like me you'll scratch your head and wonder, "Was that it?"Īnastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) and Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) are now Mr. This is a franchise that wants to go out in a toe-curling climax but goes out with a whimper. The actors are free at last from the mechanical sex scenes that populate these films, free at last from their terrible chemistry with which they cannot conceal, free at last from having to say stilted dialogue for stilted characters, and free at last from the six hours of boredom and overstated kink. Director James Foley (Glengarry Glen Ross) is free from having to bring this silly thing to straight-laced life. James' best-selling erotic novels have made for pretty lifeless big screen entries. heidoc.I think Fifty Shades Freed as a title works well not just for the audience but also the actors, as everyone is celebrating putting one of Hollywood's least engaging film franchises well behind them.

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